Hello beautiful people, my name is Mencey! I am an ordinary guy who’s very passionate about making human connections, spending time in nature, exercising, discovering new places and diving deep in the world of personal growth.
A particular fact about me is that seeing people being vulnerable and real, really touches my soul. It connects me with whom I really am and I feel like it all makes sense! A bit deep, I know!
Since I was a little kid I had the constant feeling of not fitting. I felt like I wasn’t understood as I had a different perception on things. I believed in people when others not; I dreamed about dancing, singing, discovering new places and just enjoying life, when others didn’t. I always was interested in helping others and making sure everyone around me was happy and loved.
During my childhood, I remember lots of moments of sadness and fear. I saw many bad things happening around me and I felt that I couldn’t contribute to the happy world that I wanted to live in. The worst thing was, knowing that deep inside me I kind of knew what others could do different in order to avoid unnecessary pain. However, the only thing I could do was to feel sad, disappointed and powerless, as I couldn’t understand what was happening.
With all the above, somehow I learned that I could bring some happiness and hope to the world I lived in if I made sure I performed very well at doing things: getting the best grades at school, cleaning my house, cooking, helping my granddad with accounts and just excelling at any task I was asked to do.
Without even knowing, I was setting the foundations of a life based on the pressure of perfectionism. Somehow I associated my performance with how much happiness I could bring to the environment I was living in and with that, also with my worth as a person.
Despite of all the above, I managed to do relatively well. I had always been a hard working guy and I felt that I was in control. Nevertheless, that feeling of control was going to be questioned before going to uni. I was going through lots of exams and stress and that was the first time where I felt I'd lost it. The pressure was on, outside, but more, inside myself. The need to perform excellent made my mind go crazy. I started to develop the thought of what if am not going to be capable of this or that? This made my whole world tremble and I couldn’t see a way out. The only thing that I could do was cry and feel frustrated for my misperceived incapability to learn, which made me unworthy.
With the help of some psychologists, psychiatrists, some pills that made me feel sleepy all the time and lots of breath work and relaxation techniques, I managed to pick my self up and carry on with my life.
Later on, my career journey had started. After doing different temporary jobs to gain experience, I decided to think of what I really wanted to do. I found that I had no clue and I panicked! I kept on moving from job to job as nothing made me feel good. During that time, I became aware of one pattern that kept on repeating: every time that there was a possibility to progress in a position, I always found myself making excuses and moving on to a different job. I now know that what I was trying to do was to suppress any option for failure or being judged. I believed that having a role that implied more responsibility was going to put me at the front line of judgement or possible failure and my imperfections were going to be, one more time, discovered.
I became aware that I was actually afraid of everything that could potentially expose my imperfections: pursuing a dream and being accountable for it, changing my daily routine, checking others social media, starting up my own business, eating junk food, watching movies that could trigger me... etc. I became aware that I started to react and feel frustration, shame, disappointment & guilt for everything! I became aware that I had stopped living! The feeling of unworthiness, the fear of judgement and failure, along with the feeling of not being enough had such an influence in me that I neglected myself as a person and I even questioned if life was worth living…
I kept on telling myself that life had to be something more that these negative things that I was constantly experiencing. Led by my intuition, I started to make moves and take different steps that took me to where I am now. The first thing I did was to become a fitness instructor. After, I quit my 9 to 5 office job and became a volunteer for Age UK as I always felt attracted to giving back and helping the community.
Overtime, I went into coaching and I discovered that if there was someone who could change my life, this someone was I! With coaching, I also learned that I wasn’t my negative thoughts and/or emotions and that with self-awareness, I could become the person that I wanted to be and live the life that I wanted to live!
I must say that amid all this spiral of fears & limiting beliefs, it has always been clear to me that I love helping others. Since I was a kid, I have always loved when I can witness humbleness, happiness & life in full action! I really enjoy when I can see people showing love to each other, enjoying life and crying out of happiness. On the other hand, having to struggle with life for so long has pushed me to find my drive in life.
I want to be the push that others need to start creating the best version of themselves and the lives that they want to live. I have spent so much time waiting to be perfect and feeling not enough that I wasn’t aware that life was passing by… Now I know that it is totally up to me (us) to start living the life that I (we) want and I cannot wait to help others do the same! Now I know that my purpose, helping others initiate the change, is greater than my fears. Trust me that if I have done it (I am doing it!), everyone can!
Impossible is absolutely nothing and as human beings, we are limitless!
I now see life as a learning curve. I now see life as a stage where I can play my own songs even though it may feel scary! We all know that life is temporary, so, what are we waiting for?
Mine has been a journey of pure awareness, self- acceptance and self- compassion and discovery. With patience and perseverance, I have sowed the seed of possibility on my garden of life and now I am learning to see beyond my fears and limitations that I didn't choose. I am so grateful that I feel free as I have never felt before and this makes me so happy and proud!
Among other things, I have learned to see my struggle as the best opportunity for me to raise above myself and to put into practice everything I am learning.
If you somehow feel identified with my experience in life, would like to know a little bit more about my story and how I could help you, please let me know! I am sure that we will have so much in common and it would be a pleasure for me to be the push that you need to start creating the life that you want to live.
And always remember that You Can